Triangulate the moment you begin speaking

When I took the stage at Sherman High School, I knew the teens would heckle and jeer. Because, when you are "that guy" who is hired to speak to teens about risk avoidance (read: don't have sex, get drunk, or do drugs) and it's the week of prom or spring break...the audience is stacked against you.

And I loved it.

For some reason, I really enjoyed the heckling. Maybe that's because I knew how to manage the energy - or maybe it was because, if I was in their chair I'd do the same.

So what is the key to disarming a hostile or resistant audience, board room, or client group?  Triangulation.

Any time a speaker stands before an audience, there's a direct two-way relationship. By design of the logistics alone, it implies "I'm saying something important, so be quiet and listen," where a seated audience implies "we're listening, so you'd better say something important." And if you have attitude in the audience it may say, "I'll give you only one minute to impress me."


Triangulation instead, directs the audience to a 3rd party or something that both the speaker and audience pay attention to. This can be a story told by the presenter, a video, an object, or anything that positions the audience and speaker as peers.  Shoulder-to-shoulder you look together at the issue.

This triangulation will diffuse the tension. Presenters need to humbly address the topic and allow their wisdom to continue growing the respect from the audience.

An easy way to remember this is how I speak to my daughters versus how I speak to my sons. My girls like my full attention ... face-to-face and fully engaged. That freaks my sons out. So for them, we talked while playing games, fishing, or working in the garage; shoulder-to-shoulder.  It is triangulation. And it cuts the tension so you can communicate better.

This week, take the stage or stand before the room - and find your triangle.